SOL: Generation Two – Chapter One

Warning for swearing, because this is Kane and he has no filter.


Nine months ago, Kane hadn’t known a single thing about children. He was the youngest in his immediately family, and with no aunts or uncles on either side there was no possibility for younger cousins. He had always avoided children like he avoided everyone, even though he (like many in their nineteen-year-old minds) thought he’d like to have a family in the distant future, an idea that floated around his head from time to time and was no more committing than the idea of a year-round diet for a new year’s resolution.

When he’d first heard the news, his immediate reaction was to assume Faye had done it on purpose. He’d never heard of the pill not being fully effective, and even though he saw her take it on the mornings he’d spent round at hers (the only thing she seemed responsible about, he had noted at the time), it had still felt more likely than the impossible odds of his contribution being lucky, or stubborn, or however the hell it worked.


Shamefully, he hadn’t even been sure that he would love his son. After all, he barely liked himself most days, and didn’t think he’d ever been loved in his life, so how would he know how to love a child? He’d consumed and devoured every cheap parenting book he found in charity shops (almost all of them catering for mothers reading them, of course), desperately looking for a promise that he would love the tiny thing when it’s time came, only to be bogged down by assurances that sometimes you didn’t, and often it was because of hormones or something. Not helpful, since he wasn’t the one giving birth, and that was what the books had assumed.

His searching for this promise took a back seat to other more pressing issues when Faye had announced she wanted no part of this life. Kane had to try and figure out if there was someone donating or selling breast milk in the area, since so many of the materials had underlined the importance of breast feeding children, and a thousand other practicalities which only made everything seem more daunting.


And yet when Law came into the world, Kane couldn’t fathom how he, someone whose only childhood friend had been flighty at best, could love something as much as he loved Law.

The first few days he couldn’t stop holding Law, marvelling at the new baby smell and stroking his arms gently, (‘soft as a baby’s bottom’ really did have truth to it), playing with the tiny fingers and toes, pressing his lips to Law’s forehead and the wisps of hair, terrified that he was cuddling Law too tightly because he wanted to keep his child so close. Every time he made a small, sleepy sound, Kane’s heart damn near melted.


And so it went for the first few months. Kane was scared that the adoration would grow old, that one too many sleepless nights would steal his wonder from him, but it never did. He could feel the stress creeping up, the sea rising against storm walls, about to encroach on his newfound sense of peace with the world and himself, but each time he felt it begin to leak he would desperately shore it up again, the forced ignorance making things both worse and better.

Money had always been a bit tight, but now more than ever it seemed impossible to make ends meet; he’d been saving for some far off dream of owning a house one day but this was rapidly dwindling as babysitters and baby supplies snatched money away bit by bit. He didn’t resent Law for it at all – he was determined to be the father he never got, even if he had no idea how to do that – but as a single parent it was a daunting task trying to figure out how the hell someone was supposed to make money working when there was a babysitter to pay.


“Good morning my little Law,” Kane cooed, planting a kiss on Law’s cheek with an over-the-top smack. Law swung his legs a little, seemingly pleased by the attention. “You ready for a new day? I hope so, because I’m sure not.” Kane kept his voice bubbly, ending off in a massive yawn that felt like it almost unhinged his jaw. “Ooh, look, I almost ate you then. We’re lucky I have stuff in for breakfast.”

The ‘stuff’ for breakfast was reduced-price bagels he had found in the local shop, definitely past their best. The flecks on the side of one could have been herbs, but Kane didn’t want to inspect that too closely. His kitchen was a tip, he thought with a sigh, eyes trailing over the dishes that had been drying on his tea-towel for two days, the pizza box that had been there for three (given to him from work, not something he had bought with his meager wage). The oven had a stubborn ring of sauce that might as well be part of the appliance now, and something was suspiciously sticky under Kane’s foot.


Law’s head turned as a faint beep from the hall indicated that the washing machine had finished its cycle. “Good timing, huh?” Kane asked, even though Law had no idea what it could have been. He knew it was good to engage with children (there was no need to read a book to learn that), and besides, it was more interesting than talking to himself even if the reaction was the same. “Your nappies are aaaaall clean, which means you’re definitely gonna take a shit in this one before I can get them dry.”

Washable nappies, Kane had learned, were pretty disgusting, but they were cheaper than the alternative so that was what he had to contend with. Law kicked out his legs again, taking no heed of the swear that Kane had just dropped (he didn’t understand anyway, and Kane was no good at censoring himself), and decided to prove him right.

“Ugh, great.”


 


“Another day, another dollar,” Cat said as she wandered through into the kitchen. “Or, y’know, pound. Doesn’t have the same ring.”

Kane snorted and pointed to the door with a raised brow, rewarded with Cat nodding and giving an over-exaggerated snore. She unclipped the baby monitor from her belt and placed it on the table. Kane picked up the yogurt he had just finished snacking on and tossed it into the bin, spoon landing with a clunk in the sink, and began to fish out money for Catherine.

She was a friend of Alicia’s, a second year university student with more coursework than lectures. Helpfully, she needed money and had a bunch of younger siblings, so even though Kane didn’t want to trust the care of his precious commodity to anyone, he felt a little better giving the job to her.


“Do you have any change?” Kane asked, wafting the new plastic notes he had pulled from the ATM on his way back. Fortunately for him – and his bank – Cat was happy to do the work for less than a qualified sitter would, and they had bartered until reaching twenty five quid for a typical eight hour shift. Kane was aware she could have done with more, but frankly at any higher cost he’d have to give up his job and sign up for the dole.

Strictly speaking, he should have done that already. His financial situation would have benefited given that he’d be able to look after Law all day, but a desperate part of him didn’t want that. He would have loved to spend all the time with his son, but since moving away from his unhappy family home and discovering a sense of responsibility, identity, and pride in his work, he would have hated giving it up. Without it, he was sure he’d revert to the person he’d been at home – depressed, cynical, and all too happy to cross the road without looking.


“Always,” she grinned, since Kane never had any. “We went to the park today. Law’s very engaged with everything, and his attention is quite good for his age.”

“Oh, awesome. Hey, I was wondering something – I’m reading this book about language and kids, right, and it says that it’s good to speak to them in other languages for brain development and stuff. Do you speak like… mandarin?” Kane’s eyes squinted a bit as he guessed the language, hoping he was right and mandarin was the main Chinese language (he couldn’t even blame himself for not paying attention in school, since school had never really taught anything but how to pass an exam), but Cat just laughed.

“Sorry, pet, I’m pure Scottish like,” she said with a wink and over-zealous accent. “My grandma speaks it, but granddad didn’t want mum speaking anything other than English, so…” she trailed off with a roll of her eyes. “I know some French, if that helps.”

“Oh, yeah, that would be good too.” Kane hovered by the kettle. “Want a tea before your bus gets here?”

“Ugh, you’re a sweetheart. Absolutely, and with just a dash of milk.”


Cat folded her lanky frame in the small sofa in the corner of Kane’s kitchen, fidgeting around on the hard cushioned seat in a futile attempt at getting comfortable. Kane slid past her and into the corner, where he always preferred to sit, where his back was to the wall and he could see the entire room. He was sure that said something about him, psychologically, but he’d long since given up trying to analyse all the maladaptive traits his family had given him.

“I wanna broach a subject with you,” Cat began, fingers of her right hand twirling around the tasselled belt of her skirt. Kane watched the nervous action and resigned himself to the awkward conversation.

“Um, go for it?”

“I know we don’t know each other all that well, but don’t forget that I did know you before you met the train wreck that is Faye…”


Kane chewed on the hangnail he’d discovered on his index finger at work earlier (helpfully while he was cutting onions) and used the pain as a distraction.

“Where is this going, Cat?” he asked warily. It wasn’t like enough of his thoughts were already centred around the girl. Where was she? How was she so happy to leave her child? Would she ever come back or check in?

“Not about her, don’t worry,” she said quickly, holding up her hands to placate him. “I just… I’ve noticed that you’re… you’re very stressed, much more than you used to be. Which is totally understandable! But I think maybe you don’t… have the best ways of… um, dealing with things.”

“What do you mean?” Kane’s eyes narrowed.


Cat twisted around, pulling her leg up on the sofa. Kane thought about asking her not to put her shoes on the couch, but even though his old landlady was a lovely woman, it was still only rented accommodation.

She cleared her throat, eyes darting about somewhere above his head. “I mean that you don’t deal with it.”

“There’s no easy way to solve it,” Kane shrugged, “so whatever.”

Cat opened her mouth to object, but seemed to think better of it and closed her mouth. She shifted a little, pulling herself up straighter, foot that was still on the floor knocking her empty cup. “I actually know about a single parents’ group. They meet in the town hall, so it’s within walking distance, and past my flat so you could drop Law off on your way. I see their posters up all the time.”


Kane scratched at scab on his arm, making a face. “Is it a single mother’s group, or…?”

“Well,” Cat admitted sheepishly, “there are only women currently in it, I think. But it’s open to any single parent, of which you most definitely are. Look, I know the woman who runs it. She’s been doing this for like sixteen years since she had her daughter without a dude around. I think this is all very overwhelming and that they could totally help you. Please at least consider it?”

Kane huffed. Cat’s thoughtfulness was touching, but Kane had never been great in new social situations, especially ones entirely out of his comfort zone. It wasn’t like he had any particular brand of social anxiety, but he definitely just didn’t know how to interact with people. Alicia had been easy, and so had her group of friends, and that was why they were Kane’s main social group. At work he only had to talk about work, or let the customers lament their problems to him. That was easy, too. This new opportunity only served to remind him of how much a loner he was.

She nudged him pointedly, and finally he gave a dramatic roll of his eyes. “Fiiiine,” he conceded, and she grinned.


 


Kane tapped his short nails on the laptop’s mousepad as it whirred to life, coughing dust and groaning. He patted it when it finally showed the operating system’s logo. It took another five minutes to fully boot up and he stared at the screen the entire time, burning his impatience into it. He needed a new one last year, but it would have to survive some time yet before he could afford one now.

His lush carpet was arguably more comfortable than the sofa in the kitchen, and Law was in his bassinet next to Kane. He preferred Law here rather than on the kitchen floor for the simple (if illogical) reason that he could see all the grime on the laminate flooring, whereas his rug had at least been hoovered in the last month.


The screen had a moment where it went to black, and Kane reached over to shake it until the image was restored. He shook his head. “You’re not dying so easily, asshole,” he muttered, waiting as the web browser loaded. He searched for the single parents’ group, finger running between the keys to clean out the dust as he waited for the results. The first link was to their simbook group, which he clicked on with a sigh. The only reason he’d joined the infernal site was for Alicia, who seemed to run her social life entirely through event pages, despite being the most ‘hipster’ person he had ever met. At least it was coming in handy now.

He scrolled through the page, silencing the autoplaying videos of toddler care and skimming through the comments people had left on the page, asking for advice or posting helpful links. Finally he figured out how to navigate to the About page and was disappointed to learn that they met on Thursday evenings, which was tomorrow, and that Cat would most definitely be free to babysit while he went.


Kane grumbled to himself even though he knew he was being stubborn and idiotic (not that this was any different from usual, he had to add), and glanced over at Law who was watching him over the edge of his bassinet, having woken up at some point in the last couple of minutes.

“Hey bud,” Kane said, waving. Law gurgled, and since Kane didn’t speak baby, he assumed that was a greeting in return. He leaned over to adjust the bassinet’s back so that Law could sit up and watch him. “Ugh, I guess while I’m here I should check the bank account, shouldn’t I?” Once again, Law gurgled an affirmative, so Kane sighed and cursed himself for setting up internet banking. Without it, his finances would be so much easier to ignore…

Seeing the red made Kane groan, fingers rubbing at his eyes in frustration.


He shut the laptop down abruptly, no trace of a good mood left to make any sort of comment about his situation. He hated to think how much lower his account would go before work paid him, but that was the way it was going to be. He snapped the lid shut and stared vacantly ahead. Did he have any other way of earning more money without leaving Law to be looked after by someone else? He had no other skills, no urge to be an entrepreneur, and absolutely refused to go into the criminal business even if his family wouldn’t kill him for it. No relatives to spot him money, and no relatives to do the free babysitting, either.

Fuck.


 


Somehow, Kane had never been to the town hall before. He supposed there had been no reason to, and even with the numerous craft fayres, club gatherings, social events and so on, he had never seen a point in spending money on such a thing.

At least this group was free. Had it not been, Kane wouldn’t now be waltzing up to the front door, feet dragging along the freshly weeded stone entrance. A good team must be keeping the grounds in check, because the hedges were perfectly trimmed, the panels freshly painted, and the entire lawn a regulated height. It was so obscenely faultless that it went against his jaded, grumpy core, and he found himself disgusted by the stubbornly organised front it presented.

He grabbed at the handle and pushed the door open, steeling himself for the social interactions about to come.


Kane hadn’t been aware of the faint chatter before he opened the door, but he certainly became aware when silence descended on the group and they turned, as one, to look at the interloper.

“Um,” Kane said, feeling his cheeks flood red. In fact, his entire face was probably scarlet. “I-I’ve come for the single parents’ group?” His voice started off strong and then fell to a mutter as he struggled to admit why he was here, as if the reason wasn’t obvious enough, but somehow the women heard him. The oldest – the one clearly running the group, if her pad and pen was any indication, beamed at him and beckoned him over.

“Pull up a chair, pet, come join us.”


The woman elegantly recapped her pen and placed it on her blank pad. “My name is Jacqueline,” she said, smiling widely, and Kane had a second to wonder how she had both a thick American twang and a Scottish lilt before the others introduced themselves.

“Charlotte,” the girl with dyed blue hair said, hand coming up in a lazy peace sign – much to the chagrin of the woman sitting next to her, who was clearly older than the possibly teenage neighbour.

“Elspeth,” she nodded, something regal about her, and Kane took one look at her designer clothes and decided he didn’t like her attitude.


He pulled the chair over and sat down, feeling very self conscious as the remaining two girls waited for him to sort himself out before continuing.

“Alyssa,” the girl sharing the corner of the table with him said, her South African accent clear even to Kane who didn’t know a thing about the world. “There’s tea and coffee over on the table if you fancy.”

He nodded but didn’t move, looking instead at the final woman. “Cloe,” she grinned at him, reaching out for her starbucks cup and taking a long sip. Kane eyed Elspeth’s complicated drink opposite to Cloe’s, and didn’t at all feel bad about his immediate judgement of the woman.

“I’m Kane,” he said, when the silence had gone on a second too long and he realised they were waiting for him. He didn’t bother with his second name, since none of them had, and anyway he had no idea what he’d say. His last name was technically still Macdonald, but he hated the obvious link to his family and had been looking into the process of changing it. At the time of expecting a child with Faye, he had happily assumed Law, at least, could take her last name. She hadn’t refused him that after leaving, but now he had the complicated issue of figuring out if he such just throw caution to the wind and change his surname to match, or choose entirely new names for them both…


He realised, with a start, that Alyssa was talking to him and glanced over at her with a nod to pretend he had been paying attention.

“…So I guess what I’m trying to ask is, without seeming too rude, what’s the sitch?”

Kane had a sudden flashback to playing Kim Possible with Faye, one of the pretend games she had instructed him and her sisters to play when they had the playground to themselves. It was her favourite catchphrase to repeat. He closed his eyes briefly and got a grip of himself.

“Um, well… She didn’t want the kid, I did, and the compromise was I’d raise him myself. I guess I didn’t think about what that really meant, but I couldn’t – I mean I don’t really agree with –“ How the fuck was he supposed to say that he didn’t support abortion without totally offending the group? “I didn’t want her to, y’know, terminate it, if there was another option she would take…” He trailed off, internally cringing, and Elspeth leaned forward. Fuck.


“How kind of you to give the choice,” Elspeth said, lip curling, and next to her Charlotte’s eyes widened briefly at the confrontation about to happen. Kane felt himself blush again.

“No, I – well, it was always her decision, but – if there was any way…”

“Ignore Elspeth,” Jacqueline jumped in, voice artificially bright. “She’s been a bit rude, I’m afraid,” she said, wagging her finger playfully, and Elspeth let out a very teenage sounding huff despite obviously being twice that age.

“I didn’t have the luxury of choice, Kane. It’s very…”

“Touchy and a fresh subject,” Cloe finished, clearly eager to be done with the awkwardness. “Anyway, what made you come along today?” Jacqueline gave her a not-so-subtle nod in thanks and she winked in return.

Kane wondered if he could feel any tenser than he already did. “Well…” he began, and so went the rest of the session as he explained the stress and how overwhelmed her had felt.


Once Kane had started talking he felt as if he couldn’t stop, the flood walls finally splintering and then shattering, words tumbling out like a waterfall, revealing how worried he was about his money running out, about how he had no idea what he was doing and no one to help him, and no idea of a father to fall back on, and –

He became aware that he had taken up the entire session, and when Alyssa slid a packet of tissues his way that he had started crying.

Fuck. Talk about social awkwardness…

The group had to leave the room before seven, so Jacqueline ushered them out. Elspeth didn’t hang back, and Cloe – with a quick explanation that this was her lift – had to go with her. Before Kane could retreat, cheeks still damp, Jacqueline caught his hand in a shake.


“Kane,” she said warmly, “I am so happy that you decided to come here. I think we can help you a lot, and certainly you are welcome to use the simbook page or contact me if you have any questions about child development. I’m quite the expert in it now,” she chuckled, giving his hand a friendly squeeze. “I hope that you come back and that Elspeth didn’t frighten you off. As you can see, we all deal with our stress very differently.”

Kane found himself nodding, though he wasn’t entirely sure if he was going to return. Not only did one member of the group very clearly dislike him, but he had made a complete fool of himself. He hadn’t cried like that in years, if one didn’t count tears of happiness and wonder when he had first held Law’s tiny warm body.


Still, Jacqueline’s offer was genuine. Kane, having dealt with both outright disdain and fake kindness all of his life, was surprised to realise that he knew sincerity when he heard it. Her eyes were warm and sympathetic, and Kane felt himself tense up at the sudden urge to let her take care of him.

Jesus. He didn’t need to be a psychologist to get that she was the clearest mother figure he’d seen in his life.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “Sorry for…” He waved his hand to his cheeks, now dry in the light breeze, and Cloe came up from behind to nudge him in what he took to be a reassuring gesture. The sound of Elspeth’s ridiculously high heels had disappeared (how did she drive in those things?) but the rest of the group seemed happy to stick around.

“Bottling things up is easy, Kane. Talking is harder. You have my respect for doing it so bravely in front of strangers.”

Kane nodded mutely and said nothing, hoping he wouldn’t go to sleep that night kicking himself for the humiliation, but suspecting it would be one of those memories that he would cringe and remember for years to come.


 

Kane is the child of toxic masculinity, he really is. My poor emotionally stunted Scot.

I have no concept of children, especially that young, beyond like a couple of days interaction lmao. So if there are any terrible acts of parenting in here, or blatant lies about the situation or whatever, feel free to point them out…

(I’m like 90% sure that bassinets don’t let babies sit up but I didn’t have any appropriate poses and the game just likes to sit toddlers on the floor, so I tried to roll with it as much as I could…)

Also I think “pet” is the worst term of endearment ever, but people still use it so here we are.

31 thoughts on “SOL: Generation Two – Chapter One”

  1. Ah, I’ve missed reading your writing, Carys. It’s always such a pleasure. You ask me how I’m that productive and I always wonder how you keep your writing quality so high. I really adore it.
    I think it is very sweet how Kane, despite having his own problems, so bravely decided to take care after Law to the best to his ability (even if he doesn’t have close to any). That’s the example for Sam to follow that we all know he won’t. I think the support group might be a good chance for him to develop socially and as a parent. All the women, except Elspeth (I sense possible drama between those two coming), seem nice and I hope they will support Kane. He has never had it easy in life, so he needs someone to help him with his own troubled self, because you often can’t help yourself that much all on your own. Cat is also very caring and I’m glad she was sensitive enough to suggest a way to help Kane as she saw something was off. Not everyone would do that. I also think that Faye may have added up to the general messed up state of Kane’s mind. She is so messed up herself that it can easily expand to others, I’m afraid, especially if they are as sensitive as Kane. He is rather impressionable, thanks to his bad childhood. I truly feel sorry for him and I hope he can measure up to become a great father. I have faith in that, because he has true love to begin with, so that’s a very good start.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I tried really hard this chapter to add in little bits that we don’t really see in the pictures to give depth to the story, since that’s something I always forget to do, but I’m glad you think the quality is always high!! This put a huge smile on my face.
      It’ll definitely be good for him to have some advice and make some friends. They’re all going through a similar situation with the exception of Jacqueline, who did it all sixteen years ago! Elspeth is a woman with high standards and is from a well-to-do background, completely opposite worlds from Kane! They will find it hard to see eye to eye, but maybe they can pass some wisdom onto each other, I’m not sure yet.
      Faye is definitely at least part of why Kane’s so messed up. She could have been a great influence on him but only added to his feelings of abandonment (twice now), and such. I feel so bad for my sweetheart too, but his heart is definitely in the right place and he’s going to try to be a great father – hopefully he succeeds most of the time!
      You’ve hit the nail on the head with your comment though, as always. Thank you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Best birthday gift ever…even if it comes at the cost of difficulty for Kane. I think you wrote his interactions with Law perfectly, I may not be a parent, but I’ve helped care for a few babies in the past year so if you need anything to be run over, you know where I am 🙂

    In all honesty each of the single mothers’ outlooks were very believable, even the not so pleasent ones, it’s good that you approach a very tough topic, but deliver it beautifully, like always.

    As always, I look forward to what is to come 🙂
    P.S That does not in any way mean I want Kane to suffer. Love you bbe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I’m so glad it came across as pretty genuine. The only interaction I’ve had with young children has been very recently with my job, but they’re all in reception or usually older, and a few days in America where I was just around at the same time as a baby was. I’m just as clueless as Kane, but I might need you as a resource later xD
      Elspeth has always been used to things going her way, so for something not to is difficult on her. She can be bitter at times. The others are all a lot chirpier haha.
      He’s not going to suffer /that/ much. Just stress. Which is nothing compared to, y’know, the future…. 😛
      Thanks for commenting love!

      Like

  3. Whatever he is doing, Kane isn’t failing. Yes, he isn’t sure how to go about parenthood, but he’s trying.
    I’m glad he went to the group. Good or bad with people, we all need company and this company can teach him to get along in his current situation better.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s very good for Kane to have found that single parents group, and I hope he’ll realize how lucky he is… The fact that he cried tears of joy when he held Law for the first time shows that he made the right decision, even if things are tough most of the time. I believe the group is going to help him though! I have faith in Kane, poor guy ❤
    Elspeth is interesting… I can't predict if she's going to be trouble or if Kane and she will eventually be best friends or something, lol!
    That was an awesome chapter, I'm so happy you updated!! Can't wait to read what's next!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The group is definitely going to help him – he just has to let it 😀
      I can’t predict that either! I think it could go either way – I guess we’ll both find out together 😀
      Thank you! I can’t wait to write what’s next haha. Thanks for reading ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It has been too long, and I have missed your writing. Yay, and welcome back!!
    Law is so adorable, I love him already. I think that this group is definitely going to help Kane. He doesn’t have much experience with what a healthy loving family looks like, and he needs to not worry so much. 99% of new parents have no idea of what they are doing. Reading too many books can get out of hand, especially when they start contradicting themselves, or make you feel like a failure if you can’t give him fresh breast milk or speak mandarin to Law. Just give him unconditional love and support (which Kane is already doing) and he will be fine!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! It’s good to be back 😀
      No he really doesn’t ;_; But he really wants to give Law that, and he’s so frightened he’s too broken to be able to do that. This group might be able to get him to think otherwise. We’ll see! It all dependson how I write it when the time comes I guess.
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Interesting! We don’t usually see the story told from the person who isn’t part of the immediate legacy (ie Faye). This was very well written and I think if Kane stays with the group, good things will happen. Bummer that he’s still thinking of Faye though 😦

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  7. Carys, it is so good to read your writing again. As soon as I begin, I’m hooked and can’t stop!

    I really thought you did such a wonderful job of portraying how Kane was dealing with things and how he felt. I like Cat and think she suggested something very good. I hope the group is able to help him along. And you know, I never really thought about it before, how all the books are aimed at pregnant women. There are lots of single dads out there and it’s a fact they need resources, too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay! That is so good to hear 😀
      Oh good, especially because I have no idea what he could possibly be going through. But that’s writing, isn’t it? Just making things up as you go along sometimes xD
      My friend commented on that recently, which got me thinking! She even said about how fathers can have hormonal changes too, but it’s never really talked about.
      Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love that Kane immediately bonded with Law. His heart is in the right place.

    Can’t believe he asked Cat to talk in Mandarin to Law, though. Kinda silly to think she’d know the language if he’s never heard her speak it. 😛

    I’m glad he took a chance and went to the meeting. At least he can get advice from people who are living it instead of just old and probably outdated books.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It totally is! Even when he does silly White Boy things like assume that someone speaks Mandarin because they look Chinese xD I’m glad you picked up on that. I like showing Kane as a well meaning doofus hahaha.
      Yeah! Real life people are way better than books, because you can have a conversation with them and you realise that there are some things which are down to opinion and stuff that the book takes as fact. I’m going to be having fun with the group when I get around to writing!
      Thanks for the comment ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Kim Possible! I loved that show.

    Ngl, but based on Kane’s comments about how he ended up with Law, I probably would have had the same reaction as Elspeth. I guess I’m just rude. XD

    I loved this chapter. I’m glad Kane is a good father and that he’s reached out to a support group. Hopefully he can break the cycle of toxic masculinity and raise an awesome son!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was tHE BEST.
      No I don’t think it’s rude at all! The main reason Jacqueline told her off was because she didn’t want to scare Kane off and have drama. Kane’s opinions aren’t perfect, as we know xD
      He’s certainly going to try!
      THanks for the comment!

      Like

  10. Kane is such a mix of conflicting emotions. I understand how he would worry about not being a good father. He’s only known the worst part of family life. I think being aware of what he doesn’t want to happen will help him not become his own parents. Still it’s going to be difficult since that had a lasting impact on him. The fact he has such a loving bond with Law already I don’t see him turning into his parents but it’s going to be struggle.
    I’m glad he went to that support group. Breaking down and crying isn’t a sign of weakness it just shows how much he cares about Law and doing what’s best for him. I hope that group will help him even if some of the group don’t like him. Hopefully that changes!

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    1. He is. He doesn’t understand himself, is the worst part. He’d be such a better (and happier) person if he did! But oh well, we can’t always have self-aware characters 😉
      He really did need the support group. Jacqueline realised this, which was why she shut Elspeth’s comments down before they could frighten Kane away, even if her points were valid. He can’t do this without support, he really can’t.
      Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s ok most people in RL aren’t that self aware either. I just assumed he was somewhat self aware from the way he was with Law and some of his thought processes. At any rate he’s doing fairly well so far!

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  11. Carys I think I forgot how much I love your writing ;___; I never thought I’d love Kane as a new father so much, like I’m proud of him for being this strong even though he’s struggling, and I also can’t help but wonder the same things as him about Faye, and if Law would someday meet her ;__; Jacqueline and Cat have definitely won me over :p Now I’m just curious about the girls’ stories (also wondering if Elspeth’s gonna uhm, continue on the rude route or if there’s more to it) also I NEVER KNEW PET WAS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT wow it’s weird

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    1. Aaaah thank you!
      Law is the best thing that happened to Kane even though he struggles and doesn’t always say that! And as for Faye, well, you’ll gt your answers to that eventually.
      Haha yes! It’s Scottish? And northern English as far as I know. I hate it tbh.
      Thanks for commenting!

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  12. Aaw, Kane’s gushing over Law is absolutely adorable 🙂 My heart really aches for the poor guy. Seems like this single parents’ group will be a good thing for him – this is a great start to the gen 🙂

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  13. This was an excellent start that outlined Kane and his relationship with his new son. He seems like such a natural and, I’m no parent, but it was really heartwarming to read his thoughts and the pull he instantly felt towards Law. His stressors are relatable, and instantly as a reader I want to prop him up and see him succeed! I also have a personal bias about loving single fathers but… ahem, that’s neither here nor there LOL. Can’t wait to see him grow a character! Loved this start ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have such sympathy for Kane – it’s hard being a single parent, harder still to be one without a good role model yourself! He has good instincts though, and that counts for a lot.
      Thanks for reading 😀

      Like

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